Last night on the always dramatic Bachelorette finale, Ali Fedotowsky kicked heart-broken Chris Lambton into a tug boat to leave Tahiti and picked Roberto Martinez for a proposal during the final rose ceremony. She didn’t seem to mind Roberto’s sweaty mustache and snug pants as he got down on one knee.
I watch the Bachelorette like I watch The Biggest Loser. I tune in for the first and final episodes. Tuning in to this season’s finale of the Bachelorette, I wasn’t the happiest of campers. I realized that Roberto shouldn’t be with Ali, he should be with me, feelings much remniscient of my teenagehood when I was head over heels in love with Jonathan Brandis from Ladybugs, which leads me to ask, is Rodney Dangerfield still alive?
Alas, Ali’s claim to fame was when she first joined the bachelor Jake Pavelka’s fan club by making it to the final four of The Bachelor: On the Wings of Love. She was famously known for leaving the show and her man, shared by others, to return home to her job with Facebook. (I am convinced something sneaky was going on behind the scenes with Zuckerberg.) She woefully tried to return to the show; however, became dismayed when she was left with a phone call of rejection from Jake. Ali should have known better. Everyone knows you not only pick men over a job, but you move for them too. I’m sure Ali eventually thanked her lucky charms for not having ended up with Jake like Vienna Girardi. Their break-up reminds people everywhere that sometimes, high school is forever.
Bubbly 25-year-old Ali wasn’t left behind in Bachelor history without a comeback. (Must be the Pi Phi in her.) Returning for her own show with ABC and keeping host Chris Harrison employed during these hard economic times, Ali repeatedly made it known that she sacrificed her entire life in search of true love. She gave up her apartment, her job and San Francisco to find her one match who she’ll spend the rest of her life with. She admits all this on television yet, men still flocked to the scene? Isn’t the number one rule while dating as a woman, “thou shall act like an independent woman?”
I have gathered throughout that the entire season was heated entertainment. Frank Neuschaefer, who must have realized that Ali had given up too much for love like any normal single man, excused himself from the show. Apparently, he left Ali for unresolved feelings back home with an ex-girlfriend. Then left to meet Ali’s family was Chris and Roberto. Any aware and intelligent person watching the finale knew Chris had no chance. Might I add that I’m shocked he ever got as far as he did. His good looks couldn’t even make up for his lack of personality. Young women everywhere will be disappointed if Chris as the new bachelor becomes the result of ABC lowering its standards.
Ali and Roberto plan to move to San Diego with marriage on the horizen. (Their true love was obvious during the finale’s romantic montage of Ali and Roberto together as Elton John’s “Can you feel the love tonight?” played in the background. Every single girl watching was moved to tears.) We’ll see what happens once Roberto starts watching ABC’s The Bachelor Pad and sees as a famous, 26-year-old hot man, what he’s missing out on. Roberto, a man so sexy you have to say his name with all three syllables.