Lady Gaga On Why If You Don’t Like It, Don’t Come To The Party

Lady Gaga, singer, songwriter and performer, sat down with Vanity Fair for the September fall issue and opened up on how she loves her little monsters more than anything, how she’s dated a 28 year old when she was 16, and how she fears sex will deplete her energy and take her creativity.


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There’s absolute truth in people don’t like what they don’t understand. Society’s “evolved” (a masked way of saying “progressed”), and not without a fight, after the women’s rights movement and the sexual revolution. We are slowly still understanding and accepting or, at least, tolerating homosexuality. (We want to - want to accept homosexuality naturally as the norm.) Thus arguably, avant-garde pop culture icon Lady Gaga makes people uncomfortable, especially since she embodies a modern, strong womanhood, unorthodox sex and liberated sexuality – without any apprehension or modesty. If you throw a Kermit the Frog coat, lobster hat and oscillating ring dress into the mix, then we have a real freak show on our hands.

I indulged in the Vanity Fair already intrigued by the artist before reading the interview, and continued to be enthralled. Anyone holding a pencil and paper could have written the article using Lady Gaga’s words verbatim, and the editorial would still radiate honesty and effortless facsination. Her biography highlights words such as “Billboard no.1 hits, ” “Most Influential People of 2009,” “2010 Forbes Celebrity 100 list,” and “Ten Most Facsinating People,” but Lady Gaga’s actions speak louder than words. In this case, Lady Gaga’s words speak for themselves.

Lady Gaga, 24, formally known as Stefani Joanne Angelina Germanotta, grew up in Manhattan’s West Side and her upbringing was described as very traditional, if not strict. She’s always identified herself as a misfit among her family members and peers since her childhood. “I was probably more dysfunctional than [anyone] in our family – I dated a 28-year-old when I was 16; I dated a 38-year-old when I was 19,” the singer told the magazine. “Actually, I don’t even know that I would use the word ‘dated.’ But something inside of me felt like I was living in a delusional world; I wanted to know what the real world was about. And I used to pray every night that God would make me crazy. I prayed that God would teach me something, that he would instill in me a creativity and strangeness that all of those people that I loved and respected had.”

Photo by Vanity Fair, Nick Knight

Lady Gaga definitely found her gift of strangeness and has had love and love-ers, but she speaks fervently and passionately that nothing means more to her than her fans, or little monsters. “I love my fans more than any artist who has ever lived, and I mean that so genuinely. I’ve looked every man that I’ve ever dated in the eye and every woman I’ve ever been friends with and there will never be something that I put before my fans. It’s about loving who you are. I don’t want people to love me; I want them to love themselves. I have a relentless pursuit in me to give everything in me to my fans to make them feel good about themselves. And if you don’t like it, well, then don’t come to the party.”

Loving her fans and her art more than anything seems like it would make it difficult to be in a relationship or to even have time for all the sex she emanates. Lady Gaga explains, “I don’t really have sex. Well, sometimes. But I’m drawn to bad romances… My relationships with my gay friends have a purity and love that’s so simple because we don’t want anything from each other except friendship. [Whereas] my relationships with straight men are always abusive, always tumultuous, always emotional. I do fuck, but I’m certainly not promiscuous… I’m perpetually lonely… It’s my condition as an artist. Listen, I prayed for a lunacy, and he gave it to me… I also think I’m afraid of depleting my energy. I have this weird thing that if I sleep with someone they’re going to take my creativity from me through my vagina.”

And who can argue such theft? Whether she’s running around town with drag queens, filming sexual, violent and provocative music videos, designing her next shocking costume with her Haus of Gaga team, or loving on her little monsters, Lady Gaga inspires and excites. Where’s the harm in having a generational, controversial and talented pop star icon – who we don’t understand?

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