The Bachelor: Weekly disproving the stereotype that women are catty, desperate and emotionally crazy… Chantal O. gets a one-on-one date and feels like thee luckiest girl in the world. Ashley H. has a meltdown of insecurities during the group date and villainess Michelle repells off a building with Brad and then throws her head back in heinous laughter.
Brad gave Chantal O., Britt and Michelle (insert Psycho sound effects here) roses after the episode’s three dates.
Brad’s first date was a one-on-one date with Chantal O. The two took off in a helicopter as all the girls followed Brad and Chantal outside of the mansion and saw them off. The couple was whisked off to the Catalina Island on a boat and then walked along the sea floor while holding hands. Afterward, while canoodling on a cabana bed, Brad gave Chantal O. a rose because she made Brad feel something “very real – something that could happen in real life.” Chantal made Brad feel like he can be himself. Brad wanted to take Chantal’s hand and run away. “This is crazy!” Brad exclaimed.
During Brad’s group date to visit Dr. Drew on Loveline, all of America is reminded that Brad has had intensive therapy. Brad is deep. Brad has feelings. Brad knows soul searching. On the date, Brad, with the help of Dr. Drew, created a safe space for inner-most thoughts, vulnerability and feelings – truly a circle of trust for his ladies and him.
“I’ve never had these women more engaged in me than now,” Brad said in all of his drama glory.
The group date lead into an evening of girls stealing Brad back and forth and Ashley H. throwing a temper tantrum in the hot tub.
“Each and every woman wants to talk to me tonight,” the Soul Searcher said. “I love it.” He also loved Britt, and gave her a rose.
Brad’s third date was with Michelle who was ready to erupt into flames and throw a spearhead into Ashley H.’s neck for stealing 30 minutes of ”her day.” Michelle and Brad repelled down the side of a building and together they overcame their biggest fear of heights.
To prepare for the rose ceremony, the girls were ready for a drink. I was ready for a drink! I decided that watching The Bachelor as a drinking game may make it more bearable and may make me less ashamed to be a woman. Instructions – take a shot of hard liquor every time someone says [a variant of]:
- open up
- one on one
- it’s hard
All jokes aside because these are real people’s lives, Brad gave roses to Ashley S., Alli, Emily, Shawntel, Lisa, Jackie, Marissa and Ashley H. Meghan – not offered a rose - quickly and awkwardly hobbled out of the house and said, “hmm sucks for me.” Stacey and Lindsay both followed right behind Meghan. Lindsay left the house defending rejection and said while starting to tear up, “I think my dad would be very proud of me ” – a mantra that I’m sure she tells herself daily and repeatedly.
Do you agree? Brad should publish a self-help book called ”Being Yourself, Opening Up & Taking Risks – Lessons from The Bachelor.”
Until next week in Vegas…